to nourish & tend the soil

There was a time when every difficult season felt like evidence that I had somehow failed.

If life felt heavy, I assumed I had made a wrong turn somewhere. If I was exhausted, I convinced myself I needed to be more disciplined. If I felt disconnected, I immediately started searching for a way to fix it. I spent years treating discomfort like a personal shortcoming rather than a natural part of being human.

I don't think I realized how exhausting that was.

Because life keeps changing. Relationships change. Priorities shift. The things that once fit beautifully can suddenly feel too small or too tight. Yet I kept approaching these transitions as though my job was to get back to some previous version of myself — the one who seemed more capable, more productive, more certain.

I'm learning that there is a difference between paying attention to your life and trying to control it. One creates space for honesty. The other creates endless self-surveillance.