a little space in the system

In my practice, I have become fascinated by systems. How nothing in the body works in isolation. How one area always influences another, whether we are paying attention or not.

The same is true in relationships. What we attend to, where we direct our energy, and how we continue to engage all shape the system more than we often realize. Just as noticing relational energy helps me see clearly, paying attention to the nervous system shows me how that energy lives in the body.

There are moments when connection remains active even though growth has stalled. The system continues looping simply because attention and energy are still present. The body often notices this long before the mind does.

This awareness arrives quietly. A tightening when a name comes to mind. A shallow breath. A subtle bracing, as if preparing for a conversation that may never happen. It is not urgent. It is familiar.

Over time, noticing this has become central to my practice. It is information rather than a problem. A signal that energy is still being held outward and that something in the system may be waiting to reorganize.

I see the same patterns clearly in movement. There are moments in class where I watch some push hard, gripping, striving, and doing all the right things, and yet something does not feel quite right. There is effort, but no ease. Activation without access. Movement without flow.

What is happening is not weakness or stiffness. It is a nervous system doing its sacred job of protection.

Muscles do not respond simply because they are asked to. They respond to signals of safety or threat. If the nervous system does not feel safe, the body resists. Tension appears. Readiness appears. Alertness appears. The system holds itself together, sometimes even when nothing in the mind is consciously worried.

Shifts occur not through force, but through gentle noticing. Observing where energy is still leaning outward. Allowing space where tension has been held. Letting the nervous system settle enough for new possibilities to emerge.

In movement, this can mean creating conditions for regulation before activation. Taking time to orient. Inviting grounding through breath, touch, or props. Allowing choice when a pose or movement does not feel right. The body begins to respond when safety and attention are present.

In relationships, the same principle applies. Stepping back. Allowing slack. Trusting the system to reorganize without constant input. Attention returns naturally to the present moment. The body releases. The mind lets go of rehearsing old conversations.

This practice can be tried in small ways. A few minutes to notice the breath. Feel the feet. Soften the shoulders. Then observe how the body and attention shift. These moments may seem minor, but they create space for the system to reorganize and for connection to arrive with more ease.

Sometimes, allowing a little more space is enough.